Undertow of Want

What It Feels Like to Drift from Abstinence.

I stand ankle-deep in comfort,
sun on my face, breeze in my hair—
I think I’m safe.

The tide whispers promises,
sweet and silent,
pulling me just a little further
with each passing thought.

A bite.
A lie.
A maybe later.

And suddenly—
I’m in deep.

The undertow of want
wraps around my ankles,
pulls at my belly,
drags me where I swore I wouldn’t go.

I fight.
I flail.
I sink.

My will is waterlogged.
My prayers are bubbles.

Then—
I stop swimming for the shore
and turn sideways toward truth.

Sideways.
Surrendered.
Still breathing.

Someone throws me a line.
Connection.
Program.
God.

And I remember:
The danger isn’t just in the water,
it’s in forgetting
what lives beneath the calm.

Love ya’ll!!

DeeBo