From the book 51: Playing Around with Innocence by Andrea Mai, in her poem Be the Temple Master, comes this line:
“The moment is its own fullness.”
I used to believe recovery was about building a future. A body I could live in. A life I could be proud of. A story I could tell without shame.
But grace whispers something different: fullness isn’t later, it’s now.
I don’t have to hold tomorrow. I don’t have to stack up days like poker chips to prove my worth. I don’t have to know what’s waiting around the bend.
I only have to sit here — with this plate of food weighed and measured, with this prayer whispered in the dark, with this call made even when I don’t want to. God is here, in this moment. And that makes the moment complete.
It’s strange to realize that fullness doesn’t come after 90 days, or after a certain number on the scale, or after I’ve “figured it out.” Fullness is here, in the surrendered act of one honest day.
Grace is when I let today be enough. And in that enough, tomorrow has room to grow.
Still not holding the future. Still tasting the fullness. Still trusting God in this moment.
With much gratitude and love -
DeeBo