The Knot: Unraveling the Heart in Recovery
Untangling what binds us to the past, one strand at a time
We all carry knots.
Some were tied when we were children—tight little loops of fear, shame, rejection, and pain. Others came later: betrayal, addiction, regret, resentment. Each knot secures us to something we haven’t let go of yet. And in recovery, we don’t just walk away from those knots—we’re called to unravel them.
At first glance, a knot might not seem so bad. After all, knots serve a purpose: they hold things together, secure loose ends, make something feel tight, controlled, safe. But over time, those same knots become tangled, weathered, and impossible to undo without serious work. Recovery shows us that we’re often held fast by the very things we thought were keeping us safe.
Some of our knots have been exposed to the elements for years—soaked by tears, stiffened by trauma, pulled tighter by repeated mistakes and self-will. By the time we get to them in recovery, they’re hardened, calcified in the soul. You can’t just yank them loose. You need tools. Patience. Surrender. And help.
That’s where the program comes in.
Our tools aren’t pliers or tweezers—but they’re just as specific.
We have inventory.
We have prayer.
We have sponsors.
We have meetings.
We have God's help.
Sometimes, we untangle a bit only to find the next layer tighter and more hidden. Just like with real knots, the deeper you go, the more stubborn they seem. It’s messy. It’s frustrating. But it’s also holy work.
And here’s the hardest part: we often want to fix the knot on our own, muscle through it. But this isn’t about control—it’s about cooperation. With God. With the people He puts in our lives. With the process. We do our 1%, showing up, staying honest, reaching out. And then we trust that God—our divine Craftsman—will do the rest.
Some knots won’t come loose all at once. That’s okay. What matters is that we keep showing up with willing hands and a surrendered heart.
Because when the knot finally gives way—when that old resentment, wound, or false belief releases—it’s not just a strand that gets freed.
It’s us.
DeeBo