Paycheck to Paycheck Recovery
When Abstinence Feels Like Living on the Edge
There’s a phrase I said recently while talking about my struggles in food addiction recovery:
> “It’s like living paycheck to paycheck.”
And I haven’t been able to shake it since.
That’s exactly what it feels like—this cycle of barely making it, just trying to survive the next day, the next meal, the next wave of emotion. There’s no cushion. No margin. No reserve of strength. Just scrambling for enough willingness and grace to get through.
Every temptation becomes an unexpected bill.
Every emotion, an overdraft fee.
Every binge, a reset to zero.
Meal to meal. Crisis to crisis.
It’s exhausting. Shameful. Lonely.
But here’s the truth: even when I’m living spiritually broke, I’m not without hope.
Because just like real financial stability begins with a single step—budgeting, planning, seeking help—so too does recovery. I don’t need to fix it all at once. I just need to show up today, tell the truth, and do the next right thing.
That might be:
Weighing and measuring my food
Making an outreach call
Hitting a meeting
Pausing to pray
Letting go of control
Asking God for help instead of doing it my way (again)
Over time, those small actions become spiritual deposits. They build emotional equity. They move me out of survival mode and into a life of contented abstinence—not just surviving, but healing.
I’m not trying to “get rich” in recovery.
I just want to stop feeling spiritually bankrupt.
And the beautiful truth?
God covers the overdrafts when I come clean.
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