Full Refund — Misery, Paid in Full
Walk away and the clerk of chaos will hand it all back—pounds, pain, and the prison you escaped. Stay, and grace keeps the receipt.
I heard the word refund twice in the same meeting.
The second time, someone else called it out,
so it was said a third time—like God circling it with a Sharpie.
The idea was simple:
If you walk away from this program,
we’ll gladly refund you…
Every pound you’ve lost.
Every inch of peace you’ve gained.
Every step toward freedom you’ve taken.
The refund comes fast.
It’s efficient.
It doesn’t wait for your permission.
It shows up in the form of old habits—
the late-night rummaging,
the “just one bite” bargain,
the hollow promises that this time will be different.
It shows up in the scale climbing like it’s chasing a world record.
It shows up in that dull ache in your chest when you realize
you’ve traded freedom for a familiar prison.
I’ve collected my refund before.
More than once.
It comes binge-sized,
with a side of shame and an extra-large soda of regret.
And here’s the thing—
the refund clerk doesn’t care how hard you fought to lose it.
The transaction is clean,
and the misery is non-refundable once you take it back.
But there’s a catch they don’t print on the receipt:
You don’t have to cash that check.
You can stay.
Even when you want to bolt.
Even when the cravings hit like a freight train.
Even when your self-will starts whispering
about how nice it would be to just “relax” your abstinence.
You can keep showing up.
Keep weighing your meals.
Keep praying your way through the hour, the day, the week.
Because grace is the one thing they never take back.
It’s not tied to your weight,
your willpower,
or your streak.
Grace will meet you
in the relapse.
In the return.
In the ragged little “help me” you mumble through tears.
So today, I’m holding on to my receipt.
Not as a ticket back to misery,
but as a reminder that I’ve already been paid in full—
by a God whose grace
doesn’t refund.
Today’s Work
Write down three “refund” items you never want back—physical, emotional, or spiritual.
Thank God for each one.
Tell someone in your program what you’re holding on to instead.
~DeeBo